On January 8, 2019 I said good bye to my uterus, I named her Ursula. It was the first major health issue I’ve had to deal with since Jerry died. It brought to the surface that I have put off writing my will and creating a trust for T. It made me afraid of what would happen to T if something happened to me.

Being a solo parent stinks.

Parenting is hard enough when there are two of you. Even though I have a great man in my life, he is not T’s other parent. He is T’s friend. Would he take care of T? In a heartbeat. Could he legally do that if I don’t have it in a legal document, not likely.

My sons have always said they would take care of him but do I want to do that? They have their own lives and eventually will have their own families. I don’t want T to feel like he doesn’t belong or that he’s a misfit. My parents are old and I wouldn’t want to burden them with raising a child. My siblings aren’t good candidates either.

So, I did what I believe millions of other solo parents do. I bargained with God. I promised to take good care of myself, to do good to others, to live a good life. In exchange I asked to raise T to adulthood. Let me get him to a good place as an adult and then everything else can happen.

Thankfully, Ursula was disease free. She just wanted attention. Stupid sea witch!

Do I think my bargain is going to work? I have faith that it will but I also know reality and God and I have a great relationship wherein he likes to teach me things. So, I’m going to an estate planning class just as a back up plan to my bargain.

Fiddle, freakin, dee dee

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