February is the month of love. I used to hate the month of love. That is until I learned that all months can be consummed by love. It’s an action and it’s not gender specific. You can love everyone around you and still have some to spare.
I recognize I’m one of the lucky few who get a second, maybe it’s my third, chance at true love. I’ve been blessed to have someone come into my life when I was least expecting it and love me into living.
Adam will tell you he’s just Adam. He’s pretty humble. He is also kind, and funny. He’s caring, compassionate, hard working, giving, thoughtful, and genuine. He is truly amazing, and I’m so blessed to have him in my life.
Adam and I met in 2013, in Boise Idaho curtesy of Stetzon. Stetzon was Adam’s apprentice at work. We were all in Idaho for work and we met to have dinner together. I thought nothing of it. Stetzon and Adam became friends and started doing things after work together.
Adam wanted to learn how to rope, so Stetzon introduced him to Jerry. Jerry taught him how, Lex and Stetzon both practiced with him and eventually he bought a horse. He hung out with my boys at rodeos. He sat with their girlfriends in the stands. He helped Jerry whenever he could.
Adam and I didn’t really become friends until Jerry died. Adam took care of T so I could grieve. He would come by to make sure we were all eating. He helped my parents take care of T at the funeral. He asked what he could do and when we looked at him like we were lost he found things like taking out the trash, planting flowers and mowing lawns.
He listened like no one else. He got grief. He’d lived it himself.
He made sure we celebrated holidays and that we weren’t alone. My boys have worked in Denver every January for the past 6 years. January 2017 he came and fed the animals at night so I didnt have to. Then that Valentine’s day he showed up to my house with roses because he wasn’t sure I’d ever gotten any. We were both so awkward it was really quite comical when I think about it.
I took him to a hockey game for his birthday in March and we’ve been dating ever since. He wasn’t sure the hockey game was a date but it was my feeble attempt at one. It seems to have been OK.
Adam has been here through the hard stuff. He’s patiently cleaned up another man’s mess. Both physically and emotionally. Adam has never made me face anything alone, even when we weren’t dating. He is the definition of best friend. I tell him he is the best gift I’ve ever gotten next to T.
Adam isnt someone I would have chosen for myself, to be honest I wasn’t planning on chosing ever again. I’d had enough. But God works mysteriously and clearly we are supposed to be together. Adam once told me he’d never get married again. He didnt realize what he had said, the universe likes to hear those kinds of things and make a liar out of the person who said them. This is not an announcement for those that are hell bent on hearing one.
So here we are, back to LOVE. I can tell you what it isn’t. LOVE doesn’t control, it doesn’t manipulate, it doesn’t berate or belittle. LOVE doesn’t sit on their behind and watch another do battle. LOVE isn’t critical or mean. LOVE builds, it doesn’t tear down.
Love looks like a tribe of misfits. At least my tribe does. People of different ages, economical status, religions, tatooed and not. I would put my tribe up against anyone. These people, people I didn’t realize loved me, held me up in my darkest hours. I have learned to accept their love. That has been the hardest part. Accepting it.
So, I’m back to telling you to spread some love around this month. Call a friend. Take your kid to dinner. Have a special moment with someone. But also, do the little things too. Love doesn’t have to be big. It just has to matter.
Fiddle Dee Dee, I think I’m the love bug!