Stress

When I was a teenager I ran around using the word STRESS in the place of SHIT. I suppose it was a better choice, at least I didn’t appear as white trashy as I felt. It also explains why I say flamingo, fish sticks, and ferdinand regularly as my f word of choice. Substitution at it’s finest.

I didnt have a clue about stress as a teen ager. My idea of stress was having Steve and Tim find out about each other. I was seriously stupid. Both of them were not worth the stress. They’ve gone on to have fantastic lives and I’m proud of the men they became but I’m also grateful they were just a small part of my journey. Nothing stressful at all.

I really didn’t understand stress until I was caring for someone who couldn’t handle any kind of disruption or disturbance. I became a master at diffusion. I sense hostility or negativity and I go all clown mode and make it all sunshine and rainbows. I’m learning to not like a lot of the coping mechanisms that got me throught the tough times.

I have a friend named Chan (Hi Chan!) She is my hero when it comes to speaking truth. Chan doesn’t give a flaming flamingo who you are or what you may or may not think of her or what you may or may not do to her. The woman speaks her truth and does not apologize. I love her. I try my dangedest to be like her but instead I usually nice it up and it comes off like Screech from Saved by the Bell instead of TuPac. Sorry Chan, I may need lessons.

The last 6 months have been super stressful. I had surgery, Adam kinda moved in (is it living together when he still pays rent on an apartment?), T hated his teacher and fought me 5 days of week about school, Adam got promoted, we got the trailer back, Stetzon moved to Texas, I had to implement a new computer system at work, Adam got promoted again, I had to deal with new processes and a new system at work, Lex is just Lex (don’t ask), T shared that he hated thinking about his dad and didn’t want to anymore, and Adam got promoted a third time. Whew…and that’s just the stuff can remember.

Needless to say, we’ve been a little stressed.

Adam now travels for work every other week which isn’t bad but it is hard on him and he hasn’t quite found the balance he needs yet. It’s a work in progress. For me it’s easier because I can do the good old single parent trick of we are having cereal for dinner routine and look like a rockstar to T. But I miss Adam at night so I don’t sleep as well.

Which leads to me having migraines. Not bad ones but Aura ones. Which are messing with my eyes. They don’t hurt, but they do make me distracted and nauseous. Not great when you are trying to lead a group of people down a scary road filled with pot holes. That’s how I’m describing my job now. It’s like UDOT only worse.

This image is the best I have found at showing you what my eyes are doing. Neat! It isn’t MS either for those who are going to ask. I already faced that stress and fear and I’m happy to report I’m still in remission.

But now I’m searching for stress management ideas. If you have any please share in the comments. So far meditation and massage have been the best solutions. T is on his way to being a yoga master. To that we just say, OHM…

One thought on “Stress

  1. You are and always have been a winner. You accomplish hard things over and over again. You are admired and loved. I have such fond memories of you. So glad we crossed paths. I would have truly missed out if I had not known you.

    Like

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