Thoughts

The last few months have been interesting to say the least. Covid-19 upended the world and we are still seeing the ramifications of someone’s poor decision. I have always been a conspiracy theorist so I of course am curious about what has really happened. Politics aside, this thing has changed our world and lives. In some ways we have all experienced a death of our old life and a rebirth of our new one.

We have learned to work from home, manage crisis from home, teach our children from home. For many of you it has been tortuous and unending. For me, I trained for this. I’m a homebody. Not leaving has not been difficult for me. I will admit that missing out on seeing my son’s new home and a potential visit with my granddaughter were hard.

As I sat in my home, I was a social media voyeur and watched tragedy unfold for many of my acquaintances. I’ve watched former coworkers, yes that’s plural, become widows. Some prefer the term surviving spouse instead, LOVE you Linda! Not old women either, some in their early forties, some in their late 50’s. But I’ve watched their sorrow and pain. The shock of a love ending so swiftly. None of them were due to Covid-19. They lost spouses to diabetes, heart disease and freak accidents.

I stopped watching the news because everyday there was more sadness that came into my house. Children washed away in a freak flooding accident. Girls missing after having simple fun on a lake. Domestic violence taking away a loving daughter from one of my former coworkers. The news was seriously harshing my mellow…

I started building my garden. Now my yard has been on the mend for several years, this year it is stunning. I put all the sadness, hurt, and despair into joyful flowers. Adam discovered my love of black bears and has added to my collection. I didn’t know he even had them. These things have brought joy to my life and my yard.

My friend Emily was supposed to have an awesome wedding on July 4th that has been scaled back. People are having to forgo graduation, including my bonus son Tagen who worked so hard in mainstream school to achieve honor roll status. There are some serious disappointments in the world right now. Not to mention outright frustration of losing jobs.

As we all have something to battle, let us remember to be kind. This sentiment from a mean girl, who would have thunk it? I challenge you to smile at a stranger, wave to your neighbors, and fear not.

I’ve had theme’s each year since 2016. In cronological order they have been: Make your own sunshine, Embrace Joy, Love Wins, Be Still, and now Be Not Afraid.

Life is going to throw so much your way. Deflect as much as you can but learn from the rest. My lesson from Covid is that I need kindness in my life. I need to grant it to others who don’t deserve it and I need to really show it to those who bless my life in so many ways. I’m all about gratitude. It’s what has gotten me this far, so let me say this.

I am grateful to the woman who divorced Adam, she tossed out a lump of coal and life created the diamond I have in my life today. He is truly a gift. I am grateful I got to have a baby in my 40’s who has taught me so much about love and patience. I’m grateful to Kelli who takes care of Stetzon and is helping him have the life he has dreamed of in Texas. I’m grateful to the Stokes family for taking care of my Lex and his little family. I’m grateful to my boys for leaving me in Utah to find my own path. I’m grateful for my boss who gets me. I have an amazing team of people at work who are working miracles everyday, I’m am grateful for their trust in me. I adore T’s teacher Ms Michelle. I don’t know where we would be without Ms Theresa either. The gratitude I feel for these ladies makes my eyes leak.

You see, I survived all the bad stuff to get to this place in life. I’m ok. Covid or not. So for those going through something awful my advice is to find something everyday to be grateful for. Start small and work your way up. You can always find the bad but if you stop focusing on that then the good stuff gets easier to see.

Fiddle Dee Dee I’m gonna keep on being me!

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