On July 4th I made the best decision and married my best friend. It was not something I did lightly. It was a long time in happening. In fact one could say it is a miracle.
If you’ve been a follower from the beginning you know that my marriage to Jerry was difficult. So much so that I vowed to never do it again. I believed I wasn’t marriage material and as a result thought it best to not pursue any relationships. I told my boys not to worry and when the time came if I changed my mind they would probably be the ones I’d trust to introduce me to somebody. End of discussion.
Adam had functioned as our family camouflaged angel for a couple of years before tragedy struck us. He came around to rope with the family and when tragedy did hit he didn’t go anywhere. He helped. He made sure the lawn got mowed and my boys took care if me. He made sure I wasn’t wallowing in depression by showing up on Saturday mornings to take T to the car wash. Lex invited him to do things with us so he was always just there. When my boys worked the Denver Stock Show he came over in the evening to do chores so I only had to feed the horses in the mornings. Since he was there I fed him dinner, innocent enough. Looking back I can see what others could but at the time I was convinced no one could ever like me.
Adam had his own marriage phobias to work through. He had also vowed to never get married again. He told me that when I was trying to get him to date people. I laugh at that now. I was lining my future husband up with people to date. Hilarious! But, I remembered what he had said so when we started dating I knew he would not marry me. I was ok with that.
Our first date was sort of a mystery, is it a date or just Rockz wanting out of the house? For me it was a date. For Adam it was weird and probably a little scary. But we sat at dinner talking and her told me that he had told his dad about me. Now Adam has the utmost respect for this father so if they were talking about me I needed to pay attention. He said he told his dad; I’d make somebody a good wife. He wasn’t wrong he just didn’t know he was the somebody.
There were many times over the past 4 years that I wondered if he would drift away. I am happy to say that moving to Colorado and buying a house together solidified our relationship. I didn’t think being married would change anything but…I was wrong. Somehow this miraculous man got better!
I get it now. All the mushy romance stuff that used to make me uncomfortable; it just makes sense. I can’t wait for him to come home from work. He is my first thought in the morning and my last at night. I can’t begin to describe the gratitude I feel toward him. He is amazing. This is how it should be and what I waited for my entire life.
I should give a little credit to my friend Arva. She loves Adam and would have discussions with him. I don’t know if he would have ever proposed without her prompting to “put a ring on it”. Thanks Arva. You are an angel too!
My advice on marriage is easy. Don’t marry someone you think needs fixing. Don’t marry someone you argue with. Don’t marry a control freak. Take your time and be patient. Let the universe do its thing. Hindsight is always clear, isn’t it? I do know that I’m grateful for all the trials, adversity and hardships because they made me who I am and prepared me for this time in my life.
Fiddle Dee Dee I’m lucky to be me!
One thought on “Married”
“Don’t marry someone you think needs fixing.” – Many women try to play Mother Teresa. Maybe it has to do with the inherent maternal instincts that women have. Big mistake these women are making!